Think of the start of a story as a dating profile. The opening often determines whether a reader or editor swipes left and moves on to something else or swipes right and keeps reading. Context, commitment, characters, conflict, and clarity can make an opening awesome.

CONTEXT

Context involves grounding the reader by establishing the setting and building the world. If the reader needs particular information, for example, if the world is historical, futuristic, or post-apocalyptic, consider including context clues early.

“Leaving by Staying” by Matthew Pritt opens with the following two paragraphs:

“I didn’t believe you when you told us the Jellyfish was dying.

The bioluminescent glow around Her edges had softened, and the waters around us were getting dimmer. We could once see the creatures patrolling the ocean, the fish and sharks that would eat us if it weren’t for Her protection, but the fading light turned the water to ink.”

“The waters around us” show the aquatic setting. “Bioluminescent glow” and “the fading light turned the water to ink” do double duty by providing lovely imagery and setting the dark and dreamy mood and serious tone, which fall under commitment.

COMMITMENT

Commitment involves story promises such as genre markers (e.g., aliens or spaceships or haunted houses or witches), recurring motifs, mood, and tone. Pritt establishes the story as speculative by showing the two main characters have made the Jellyfish their home. He sets the mood and tone (as discussed above), and he reveals the life-or-death stakes.

Deviating from commitment elements can give the reader jump scares and break the story’s spell. For example, imagine if Pritt’s story shifted midway into a humorous tale, or if the “you” character was never mentioned again, or if a shark was revealed to be the actual protagonist at the midpoint. Be true to your vision for the story while understanding the risks.

CHARACTERS

Introducing the protagonist and other key characters in the scene sets up the narrative arc and gives the reader the opportunity to begin connecting with them. (Be sure to read Allison Renner’s “The Art of Focus: Slice-of-Life Verses Narrative Arc” on the Intrepidus Ink blog.)

Pritt’s story opens by identifying three main characters: the Jellyfish, the protagonist, and “you.” Using second person invites the reader to become part of the story.

Other than the word “us” in the first sentence, the community is not fully revealed until the fifth paragraph: “You gathered the community together, hoping the two of us could galvanize the group to action.” He lets them exist as a unit, keeping the focus on the three main characters.

CONFLICT

Conflict raises questions that create curiosity about the story’s resolution. The sixty-word opening shows three conflicts: the dying Jellyfish, the threat from fish and sharks, and the relationship issues displayed in the lack of belief about the Jellyfish’s health decline. (Be sure to read “Conflict: The Author’s Essential Tool” by Rhonda Schlumpberger on the Intrepidus Ink blog.)

CLARITY

Clarity ensures the writer’s vision for the story is well conveyed. Check sentence structure and dialogue tags. Limit the use of vague words. Avoid head hopping. Provide critical information without overwhelming the reader, for example, by introducing too many characters at once or including more backstory than needed. Like a dating profile, there may be some bits of information that work best with a strategic reveal later in the story, as Pritt did with the other members of the Jellyfish community.

TAKEAWAY

Honing the context, commitment, characters, conflict, and clarity in an opening can increase the odds that a reader will choose to “date” rather than “dump” a story.