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reetings, yogis, and welcome to yoga for forgiveness. As you arrive on the mat, try to find a comfortable cross-legged seated position. If you can’t cross your legs or have too many legs, find a seated position that works in your body. There is no judgment in yoga; it’s about finding what works and having the curiosity to explore your boundaries. 

        Let’s close our eyes and set an intention to let go of hurt feelings and grudges. Remember, forgiveness is something we do for ourselves; it has nothing to do with those who wronged us. If someone destroyed your professional reputation because you were the only one willing or able to see the truth, if you were blackballed from any career in the military or law enforcement, that’s okay.

        Life is change. Forgiveness is peace.

        Breathe in love. Breathe out hostility. Breathe in acceptance. Breathe out the embarrassment you felt when the alien you’d been tracking for weeks convinced your bosses and a thousand colleagues that you’d actually been tracking a kid in full-body paint.

        Life is change. Forgiveness is peace.

        When you’re ready, roll forward onto hands and knees, assuming you have hands or knees. Breathe in, arch your back, breathe out, round your back. Go at your own pace. If your pace is much faster or slower than mine, remember we record these sessions, which can be replayed at any speed.

        Let’s move into down dog, then plank, through your vinyasa of choice, and back into down dog. Remember to breathe, and remember our intention.

        Life is change. Forgiveness is peace.

You only hurt yourself when you allow grudges to send you into a downward spiral, when you get lost in drugs or alcohol and accidentally accuse your old bosses of being aliens in disguise. At gunpoint.

        Let that go. Let it all go.

        Step or jump to the front of the mat, arriving in a forward fold. You can bend your knees, if you have knees, and let your arms dangle. Half lift, flat back, unless you’ve got a hump, then back into your forward fold. Inversions improve circulation and increase energy, but remember that if you’re pregnant, budding, or fragmenting, you should avoid poses that put your head below your heart or hearts.

        Rise to standing, hands together in prayer position. If you have more than two arms, either go into many-layered prayer pose or half-prayer, half-exaltation, with additional arms flung wide. Now breathe and remember our intention.

        Life is change. Forgiveness is peace.

        Even if you spent six months inside a mental hospital because you knew of a threat to mankind that no one else believed, that’s okay. You can choose resentment, or you can embrace the new mindfulness tools you learned there.

        Let’s move into our peak pose, camel, a strong heart-opener. If you don’t have knees, do this from standing or flying. Otherwise, come to kneeling, toes tucked under, hearts shining forward as you lean backward, and maybe, maybe, find your ankle. Oh, and if you’re an ooze–sorry, didn’t see you there–you’ll be better off coming to our next session for invertebrates.

        And release. Release all your tension and hostility. Only when you let go of old grudges will you be truly open to new opportunities. Because you never know when you’ll be able to infiltrate a secret enclave of aliens and take videos depicting them moving through poses no human can match.

        After all, life is change. Forgiveness is peace.